Can someone grade this peice of writing

burnt-toast =] , Friday, 13th of August 2010 01:37:02 PM

Can someone please grade this? it needs to e handed in in about 2 weeks l

burnt-toast =]

have used a kind of base from my sisters one l just wanted to know maybe

Registered User

what grade l could get for that and if l need to change anything.

Joined: Sunday, 30th of May 2010, 14:25:55

/>Its a Autobiography:

Autobiography – 18 Mile

Posts: 345

walk in Dubai March 2008

Once upon a time in the misty dark

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forest at 1 in the morning 2 guys were just walking… and walking… and
suddenly something pounced on them… and I’m just joking Dubai is so
safe Arabs driving one hundred and forty thousand pound Lamborghini’s
leave the car engine running with the car empty and doors open while they
go and get a drink or something from the shop… lets get on with my
actual experience shall we?

As we finished playing American
pool as we always do at the Mall of Emirates we walked the 2 minute walk
to our hotel apartment, the man and woman that work at the place knew us
by the end of the week!. As we walked through the Hotel Lobby at 12:15 at
night the desk operator greeted us and offered us any help, thinking we
wasn’t staying at the hotel. We told him it was fine and he went on to
answer the phone which was ringing like mad behind the desk. Once we got
to our room we had something to drink and turned on the TV, which was a
nice shiny Sony TV probably fake but it was alright, thinking it would be
in Arabic, however we watched Channel 4 instead. At 12:45am realising we
couldn’t get any sleep and Dubai was still alive in Jumeirah, where all
the beaches and big hotels are such as the Burj Al Arab the awesome 7 star
hotel! So we got in the line outside our hotel for a taxi. “Jumeirah Open
Beach please” we told the cabby he replied “Okay no problem my
brother”

We were quite confident that he could understand us
as most cabby’s are Pakistani migrants and don’t know much English
I’ll give you an example; me and my uncle went to Wild Wadi which is a
water park near the Burj Al Arab, we got in a cab and we started a
conversation with him and we asked him how long he has been in Dubai and
he said 3 Hours and 3 Months. We realised that he meant 3 years and 3
months and decided to stop. That was the funniest conversation l had that
day! We went on to ask him other questions but let’s go on…
/>Anyway we finally got to the open beach and l was quite hungry so we
went to get some KFC which was just across the road, which we were going
to eat while we walk. Also we got plenty of drinks because we planned to
walk the 12½ mile stretch of Open Beach. The beaches in Dubai are so
clean that we walked the whole thing bare footed on the way we saw many
people, this is what l meant by Jumeirah is still alive there’s always
people around and that makes it so safe and some guy who was blaring loud
music from his Audi R8 at 1:30am, and everyone is fine with that! My mum
thought l was going to be in bed at 2am but as a joke we called them from
the beach in Dubai to little old Haverhill in the uk and managed to walk
about 200 yards before we hit a dead spot and put the worlds most annoying
phone away (The Samsung Armani is the most annoying phone ever when you
press 3 the number 6 comes up…) so we walked on and on and on. Until we
got stopped by an Arabian copper which was scary because Arabs are scary
they have very straight face. But this guy was quite alright he just asked
us who we were, why we were there, after he just let us on our way. />
The beach stretch was no problem is was lit up near the road and
there were many other people it was when we got to Burj Al Arab and the
Jumeirah beach hotel where we planned to take a 15 minute rest and get
some drinks but at 2:30am they wouldn’t let us in! So we got drinks from
some small stand across the road and waited 10minutes for a taxi… when we
realised that there was no cabby just speeding Arabs in supercars we
decided to walk as we try to find a taxi. This was my uncles 2nd trip to
Dubai and he was confident he knew the way to our hotel and most
importantly l was confident he knew how to get back. “Let’s walk along
the path on the main road” my uncle said to me “okay then, want some
j20?”
“Yeah go on then” so we walked on… Dubai is mostly
still in production and not everything is completed so that meant we were
passing great projects such as the entrance to the palm islands and the
world most advanced bus stop! But that also meant that the path we were
walking on was getting smaller and smaller and eventually there was no
path, all the buildings began to disappear and l realised we were walking
along side the motorway where there was clean grass and nice plants…
being watered… with recycled water “Oh my God it stinks!” l could
hear my uncle shouting as l was covering my nose with my t-shirt. After a
minute or so the plants stopped being watered at the plants turned into
large trees and the large grass lawn started to get narrower and the
plants on the lawn were stinging nettles and the worst of all was we hit a
kind of dead end if we went left we would walk into the stingin

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guppy , Saturday, 14th of August 2010 03:54:40 PM

ha ha!

guppy

yeah honestly your composition is funny.

Registered User

misspelled words, misuse or lack of punctuations, wrong adverbs used, and

Joined: Sunday, 25th of April 2010, 09:18:13

others i could mention no more. very funny!

Posts: 361

if i would rate it with 100 as highest grade it would be 75- or even

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